Keepin' It Real Never Goes Wrong

For starters, these aren't my words. These views came from a follower of my blogs and I thought were very interesting. To be honest...ladies open up your eyes, the clues here...so don't be surprised, cuz like I always say "Shit happens"....these things are THAT accurate, but its not THAT far off either

And real talk this can go the other way to, just that there aren't as many "TYPES OF MEN"....ENJOY AND LEARN FROM ***WHATEVER YOUR ROLE MAY BE***

A MAN HAS 4 DIFFERENT TYPES OF WOMEN…

Wifey

Baby Girl

Side Piece

Jump Off

Wifey is the sexiest, most successful and most respected of all the women. She is loved, needed and wanted by her man. She is VIRTUALLY IRREPLACEABLE. She is the girl that the guy loves and will always love, he never wants to see her with another man….but he will cheat on her with Baby Girl until he is mature enough to realize that if he gets caught or messes up in any way and loses Wifey, he would be screwed, and NEVER be completely happy again. Wifey gets along with mom, is independent, loves to dress sexy for her man, can cook and loves to keep a clean house. Wifey gets called everyday and seen most often. Drawback of Wifey, she loves public displays of affection…..which might interfere with the acquisition of a Side Piece.

(This assumes that the man is not 100% satisfied with Wife and wants women on the side. If she's a TRUE wifey he will not want other women. But if he doesn't know himself well or is immature he may have made the mistake of making a Wifey out of what should have just been a Baby Girl which will lead to him continuing to look around for other women. Otherwise he'd welcome public displays of affection from Wifey.)

Baby Girl is ALWAYS just as hot as Wifey and usually has a very active social life…….she IS replaceable, thinks she's the next Wifey, but will only be Wifey if an extreme disaster takes place. Baby Girl gets some of the benefits of Wifey, like quality time every now and then and even presents on birthdays and holidays, but that's as far as it goes. The main reason to have Baby Girl is in case Wifey or YOU really, really mess up. Wifey can be replaced in a matter of weeks because Baby Girl has been groomed to slip right into Wifey's spot. Be careful of Baby Girl, she tends to be just as attached as Wifey and therefore can be dangerous to the Side Piece. Biggest benefit of Baby Girl…..she is extremely private and hates causing a scene. Baby Girl can come into the same restaurant as you and Wifey and Wifey will have no idea you two even know each other. Baby Girl is a master of disguise.

(Baby Girl usually wants to be wifey but knows she isn't. She usually has one or two deal-breaking attributes that keep him from being satisfied with only her. She sticks around because she genuinely cares about him and knows he cares about her and she hopes that she can change his mind about taking their relationship to the next level not to mention they get along great and usually have a wonderful time together. The original blogger assumes that the guy has a Wifey and Baby Girl is on the side however many times men who have no wifey end up sticking with a Baby Girl because she's the next best thing until he finally feels good about making someone Wifey.... maybe her... but probably not. Baby Girl will usually get tired of being in limbo and move on anyway. )

Side Piece is usually a female that the guy uses only for sex and other pleasures. She is usually the one that he goes to for some late night entertaining after the club. When Wifey is acting up and Baby Girl is at work, the Side Piece is usually the one to hold him over for a few hours. He can meet with the Side Piece for reasons other than sex, but normally that only happens one day during the month. Side Pieces are hard to spot when they are out because most of her friends are either Wifeys or Jump Offs. Drawback of having more than one Side Piece, they usually know each other somehow…..we kinda think there is a sidepiece network.com or something. Fellas try to keep your Side Piece count below 4, if possible.

(The side piece is usually a mutually beneficial situation because she knows exactly what the deal is. Assuming you have no Wifey, a Baby Girl with two side pieces will serve as a decent substitute)

Jump Off is every man's dream and worst nightmare. She is trying to move up in life, wants to be a Side Piece or Wifey but doesn't know how to go about it. They are just the girls he hollas at when he is with his boys. She is usually stored in the cell phone by a nickname because he barely remembers her real name and where he met her…..he only recalls her physical attributes. The Jump Off gets called in emergencies only, when Wifey is moody, Baby Girl is on vacation and Side Piece is with her baby daddy. The Jump Off is extremely dangerous in public for a number of reasons. She is usually 5 other guys Jump Off as well, so she might cause drama with you and one of those dudes if you slip up. She also has no problem confronting you in the mall when you are with Wifey, something that Baby Girl would NEVER do. The most dangerous thing about Jump Off is that she ALWAYS seems to find out where you live and/or work.

(AVOID THE JUMPOFF at ALL COSTS! Nothing but drama... no ass is worth it!)

Another Classic Work Story....(TRUE STORY)

Before reading, let me explain briefly what this is and set it up. A few years ago I worked as an auditor at a small hotel in Marietta,Ga where the conditions were slum-like, but the break fast was good....I worked with 4 people who spoke English, and had customers from ever corner and hood in Atlanta. It was interesting and I promised myself I'd never do it again.....enjoy

I'm at work and its around 3:15am,....
Phone Rings...
Lady: Hello, is Lionel X there?
Me:Hold on, let me look in the system
Me: Uh, one second......click (me sending her to that room)

Meanwhile I'm busy looking for things to improve my car's look...and I get interrupted again Riinnnggggg!!!!!

Me: This is Torrin speaking, how may I help you?
Lady: No one answered, can you try it again
Me: Okay

At this point I'm still clueless...Riiiiiiinnnnngggg!!!!!!

Me: Dammit, son of a....Hi, this is Torrin speaking, how may I help you?
Lady: Are you sure that's Lionel X, its sounded like an African man
Me: Okay, but that's the only Lionel X we have in the computers for tonight...
Lady: Can you look him up by a number?
Me: Sure!
Lady....is it 678 XXX-XXXX..
Me: Yup sure is.
Lady: Okay, put me through again
Me: Okay......

Oh shit...ummm

3:30am....I'm standing at the front desk finishing a check-in. Lionel X comes downstairs and to the front desk

LX: Man don't give anyone my information
Me: What!....What room are you in?
LX:221
Me: (Looking in the guest log)...um...no you aren't!
LX: um 227 then
Me: Look, I don't screen calls....Someone call for a person Mr or Mrs X, I'm going to send it to that extension. I don't ask who's callin, this ain't my house
LX: Its cool, I understand

By this point I feel sorry for dude, cuz he already came in the door earlier looking all sad like someone one shot his dog, Lassie

Me: Look, next time you check in, and I'm here, let me know if you don't want anyone callin your room....I'll just tell them you aren't a guest here
LX: Okay, I got you...thanks

Moral of the story is....dudes don't screw up like this...if you are going to cheat (not that I am PRO cheating)...do it right. Don't go to a hotel you and your girl stayed at, don't go to one in the area, hell don't go to a hotel..if the chick you messing with don't have an apartment or house, 9 of 10 you just don't need to be doing all that....Hilarious!, I'm going to enjoy this Night Audit stuff.
Stay tuned!!!!!!!!

Empty Hands....That is NOT the business

To me, an interesting topic about how people aren't being responsible for their actions. Men and women run out of relationships at times screaming my favorite phrase, "Whoa is me". All the time we do this, but the one thing we forget at times is our contribution to that break-up or problem.

*****Now don't front and always seem like it was one-sided, because not every situation is like that...*****

It takes a real individual to come out and admit to wrong doing.....And believe there is wrong doing on many levels

In a previous blog, I discussed women who put themselves in the on-going cycle of jerks....***buzzer***, its your fault, you're dealing w/ jerks. Change your environment or accept the fact that you like assholes. You just don't like the way the last asshole treated you.

Cheaters: There was something I heard some years ago that went out to women from other women as a bit of advice...."If you're not f**kin' your man, someone else will be"....now people may not like this but, you know i don't care, because its the truth....on a serious note though, how do you avoid this?.....WELL.....

1. don't give it up, so damn easily or quickly because assholes show their colors shortly after the first attempt. This way you won't have to worry being the other woman or dealing with whoever she may be.

2. Lets say you are in a relationship where you are active...think about it...that's where that quote is applied for the most part.....Screw your dude, because he will venture off like a lost toddler at the first thing sparkling. Don't just randomly go on strike for 8wk if nothings wrong and you have no valid excuses, its not fair.

She don't love me anymore: Where in the hell did the romance go???? did you drop it on the way in...did someone jack you?...have you ever possessed it?...I mean that's the main reason people fall out of love in my opinion. Homie, you probably DON'T do the things you did in the beginning.

Face it, either step your game up or "Mr. Right Now" will.

We don't talk like we use to:....come on, either they are messing w/ someone else or may have some things going on with them that is pretty personal.....to solve this is pretty easy, ASK!, INQUIRE!.....if you don't, your mind wanders...not good to let it off the leash, ya know

.....My main objective is to get people to understand that you play even the smallest roles in the ending of your relationships, flings, or marriages. Be aware of the things that may happen if you drop the ball or break any of these rules....

IT'S THE TRUTH FOLKS, EMBRACE IT!

The Anthem....

A is for Adamsville
B is for Bowenhome
C if I give a fuck if you like me you know I don't
If she ain't got a good head on her leave that ho alone
If she do got some good head on her let her sing a song
D is for what I serve, I don't be on no curb
She ain't no junkie neither, I ain't no dope dealer
But she keep comin back 3-stacks, must be some crack
Put that pipe in her lap, she ain't know how to act
Now that I've got your undivided attention I'm gonna say this and run under condition one
Promise me you gon' stack, promise me you gon' ball
Promise me you'll invest three fourths of it all
For what? So your kids, kids, kids can have some cheese
Can't get with it? Get get get get get on your knees
Cause wealth is the word
Rich is round the corner from the curb
Don't like what I write? Shoot me a bird

Day to day thoughts when the lines are divided.....

The Infamous "Friend Zone".....

Thinking about this after reading someones note, I wanted to touch on it briefly..you know, feel it up a little bit. I was once asked a series of questions about the "zone". Things like, what is it?...how do you get thrown into it?...if in, can you get out?....I only have my theory, but would love to know more about it cuz it's probably the one thing that baffles me after the G-spot (THAT is some interesting shit)

So here goes my theory to each of those questions...........

What is it: The "zone" is a place where no one really wants to be....its the mime bubble!....you're trying to escape, but your ass can't move outside of the force field thats been given to you. If you have an interest in someone and you've clearly been thrown in there,...most should just throw that one up as a loss.....its like jail...a few may get out, but unless you are a real good fugitive....you're going back, homie

How to get there: I have no clue...I'd like to say being too nice of a person and not allowing the asshole in you to come out at times. I don't know (btw that wasn't a real answer).....I'm sure there are tons of ways. One I'm pretty sure of is always lending that shoulder to cry....who knows...

Getting out:.....To be honest...just let it go!....on the real, I think escaping is more difficult than trying to figure out what the hell it is...Just to think if an individual finds the sack to tell someone how they feel and realize they are in that "zone"...how do they continue with the task of getting that across??? Another IDK.......

Personally I'm pretty sure I've been thrown in the "zone"....Can I say with who?...I've thought about it for a brief second, then realized I'm a magician and I can escape the impossible if need be.....Putting people in it is awesome though, cuz you can pretend to be an absolute idiot when they show feelings, like "huh, you like me?...chick, stop playing...whatever...you only saying that cuz I'm drunk"....nah it doesn't happen often, but has......I'd like to know more thoughts on these questions about the "zone"

Woe the F is Me!

After reading a few status on "THE BOOK" aka "FB", I started to wonder why there is so much male bashing going on. I read them and see more females day to day saying "dudes are a bunch of B$#%ches and are so moody...yada yada yada". Is that a reach out and hold me kinda statement?....does that mean I am suppose entertain those types of comments?.....your girls might, but dudes just kinda look and stare.....I don't know if that's really the route females want to start taking when it comes to "male bashing". Because if "Mr. Right/Right Now" reads that, he's gonna step back into the shadows and figure what the problem REALLY is.

When discussing something like this before, it was supposedly understood that both men and women have their ways. We all have moments where, during the month, week, and day we aren't really feeling it. You'd think that folks understood that and embraced it (but we don't).

Now I'm not saying all of this just because I'm a man....I honestly don't see nearly as much female bashing than I do about males. Occasionally, you'll get a guy or two to get on facebook and pour their hearts out because he just spent his entire check on some girl and she screwed his friend...so they get on here and say they women are this and that....whatever (move on)...

Ladies, coming from a guy....move the hell on.....w/ the "power" that women possess, you wouldn't think male bashing would exist. Seriously, try breaking the cycle. I see status that are damn near cry outs for a hug, some love or sometimes just a good conversation, but its like the same thing keeps happening over and over and over and over and over....

Evaluate yourself for a moment and think "what am I doing wrong?"...not in the sense that you are a bad person, but in the sense "who the hell am i affiliating myself with?"..."do these people resemble in personality?"...."is he really good for me or is IT so good that it don't matter?" No one is asking you to change YOU, or change who you are, but you may have to tweak it out a little bit in the future.....Most of all, change the people you deal with

Do you mean it?...I hope you do!

When a person says "I'm done", do you think they mean it all the time. Personally I think its a front to get you to run after them. People if you use the words "I'm done".....mean it. Do what it takes to be done and actually stop communicatingwith them.

**Random**--->I know people who read these things will somehow find a way to believe its about me, but not every blog is from personal experience. Although they are my opinions, it doesn't mean I've been through or I am going through them...now back to the show

Seriously....lets stop frontin' and just say what we mean. There's a ton of people out there we haven't me and we are so afraid to step away from what we think we know that we just say anything....you decide to be mad and say "oh I'm done with you"...if that was me on the other end...I'd say, "Get the F'....kick rocks....deuces!!!"....whichever fits the script at the time.

I just want people to start being real w/ themselves and the other party, its healthy for you and for your future relations..it'll keep you out of a lot unnecessary arguments.

Although there's no true way of avoiding a confrontation, I like the drama-free lifestyle...if ever i see it getting out of hand....***POOF*** David Copperfield, I'm outtie

Sweet As She Wanna Be...mmmmmm

Lets talk about the creepy old fella with the limitless compliments. Lady's how does that feel when dudes like twice your age and "hitting" on you as if that's the new hottness. Today I heard a guy creep me out and he was talking to a female at the time...I mean, I kinda felt violated, almost like I shouldn't have been there

Female: Hey I have ants in here

Guy: I don't know what to tell you, ants like sweet stuff...

Me: **thinking maybe I should go now***

Female: Yeah so can you come and spray again?

Guy: well you know bugs like sweet things, they like sweet women too

Female:.......well okaaaay.

Me ***thinking okay, that was my sign to leave***

Dear Mr Creepy Fella

I don't know how many PYT's you get on a weekly basis, but I'm pretty sure this one is interested in you as much as a hooker is interested in church every Sunday. I mean damn dude, it felt kinda awkward standing there listening to that.

signing out,

Young Not So Creepy Fella

And the adventures begin......

Not that this is anyone's fault but my own.....I'm sitting here eating and listening to the Tyra Banks show and w/ my luck, I get the "PERIOD" show. I'm not afraid of the conversation, but not while I'm eating....I can't stop though, I'm hungry.

wait, this Dr, just said something about oral sex as an alternative when she's on her period....

No thank you.... I'll wait

Next topic, the awful "Granny-panties"...oh those things are horrible. Its like you just want to cut off all communication when they come out. This chick just pulled out an adult diaper....officially turned off.

This is officially too much for me..the conversation is now on pads......and Im out...If only there was an NFL game on right now, I could forget all about this nightmare

Mom on Dating

So I talked to my mom one night about some random stuff and somehow we got on the conversation of Relationships

Well somehow she made it all about me.....

Me: So, mom when you saw that girl I dated in the mall what was said?...I mean how did the convo go?

Mom: We we didn't really recognize each other at first but then we did this movie turn, like we did.

Me: Yeah thats funny, so what was said

Mom: She spoke and asked you where you were

Me: Why?...I hope you didn't say anything

Mom: No, Boy I wouldn't say anything

Me: Good, cuz she needs to know the same thing she knew when we broke up...Hey did you know she sent me this soby email last week tell me about you seeing her in the mall

Mom: No I didn't know

Me: Yeah Well she said that i would never speak to her again basically and a bunch of other stuff, but then again, If I did see her on the streets I'd have to pass her up

Mom: Thats not nice, dont' be like that to people

Me: Are you serious? Okay so if I saw "the first one" would you want me to keep walking or stop and speak

Mom: Keep it a Walkin...you don't have anything to say to her.

That was the funny part of our conversation about relationships and her knowing a little about one of my ex's that I didn't think anyone else knew. I started to tell her about some other stuff and what does she do?.....GO BACK TO, "Hey, have you talked to "my daughter in law" lately....NO MA....Okay so have you talked to "the other daughter in law" then?

My mom sometimes will not accept the present for some reason. Mom is funny though when it comes to her opinions on the females that have been in my life that she's met. Can't wait to talk to her again